Wednesday, June 22, 2011

How To Make a Relationship Work

Learning how to make a relationship work starts with building929795_f520.jpgtrust in a relationship. I often get asked for relationship advice from people trying to prevent a  break up and the lack of trust in relationship is usually the biggest cause of problems.
There are also a number of other factors however that ultimately contribute to making a relationship work and keeping the bond strong between you and your partner.
If you are really serious about saving your relationship or making your relationship stronger I would strongly advise reading my top five tips on saving a relationship:

1. Building Trust in a Relationship

Learning to trust your partner is my number one tip whenever anyone asks me advice on how to make a relationship work. Lack of trust in a relationship is usually the main cause of a relationship break up. Although you may feel madly in love, it is not advisable or healthy for you to live in your partners pockets.
There are going to be times when they will want to spend time with their friends or family and it is vital that both partners can do this without the fear of accusations. If you have already done something to break your partners trust it is vital that you talk to them. You can tell them of your fears of losing them after you had broken their trust. Trust can be gained or regained with time and it is the vital ingredient in making a relationship work.

2. Communicate About Everything

Communication is another key element in how to make a relationship work. If you want to save your relationship you must be able to talk to your partner openly and honestly about everything. This does include your day to day activities. You don’t have to tell your partner about all the mundane events at the office try selecting a couple of key moments from your day to talk about.
You must also be able to communicate your problems with your partner as soon as they happen. Bottling problems up rarely resolves them and usually leads to further problems in the long run. Your partner is with you for a reason so make sure you communicate with them and be open and understanding when your partner wants to discuss their problems with you.

3. Pay Attention to Your Partner

I heard a saying a long time ago and it is totally fitting to this point: – “You have one mouth and two ears – use them in that proportion”.
One of the best lessons in how to make a relationship work is to pay attention to your partner. Make sure you listen when they tell you things and learn to understand what they like and what they don’t like. No matter what commitments or activities your partake in, you most definitely should aim to spend quality time together at least once a week. This can range from a quiet night curled up with a DVD to partaking in an event you both enjoy. Whatever it is make sure you make the time to do it.

4. Fight For Your Love – Not With Them

In any relationship there are going to be situations where two people don’t agree on everything. Fighting in a relationship happens but instead of acting with pig headed stubbornness try to use the opportunity to better understand your partner and why they think like they do. One of the first steps of learning how to make a relationship work is recognising your partner as an individual. If you have a fight resolve it and move on.

5. Learn the Benefits of Positive Thinking

Ok so I am not going to start preaching about the benefits of positive thinking but it is certainly something you should try and get into the mode of. And surely it can’t hurt to give it a try! Think about the people you work with or socialise with. Do you enjoy spending time with the negative or positive people?
Instead of saying things like “I don’t know how to make a relationship work” say “I will try each of the points listed here”. The points above used with positive thinking can greatly reduce the possibility of a relationship break up.

How to Make a Relationship Work – Key Point

The key point to remember if you are trying to avoid a relationship break up is to learn to build trust in a relationship. Within this post you have learned the key points of how to make a relationship work. For a more in depth understanding about how to make a relationship work you may wish to check out a relationship coaching program.
I didn’t realise the mistakes I was making were driving my partner further away. Ashley’s methods work and they continue to work for me. I noticed improvements in my relationship almost immediately and I continue to see improvements on a daily basis.
With the right coaching and guidance you can not only learn how to make a relationship work! You can continue to strengthen and build your relationship and never have to worry about loosing your partner again.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Making Love Work

Making Love Work – Getting Intimate

Intimacy is one of the small number of things of which we all want more. Everybody is in favor of intimacy. So why does intimacy slip from our grip so easily, with the result that may couples find themselves friends rather than lovers?
Intimacy has been made to equal sex – and nothing else
Sex might be reducible to the statistics of ‘how often’ and ‘how long’, but intimacy is not so obliging. In all the sweaty passion of lovemaking, it is easy to imagine that we are genuinely close to our partner. And then men, are particularly guilty of confusing sex and intimacy and will consider their relationship to be good… even if the lovemaking is routine and unfulfilled.
Intimacy means more than that just good sex.
Even physically satisfying sex can leave both partners feeling isolatedlonely and secretly wondering whether their relationship and intimacy can ever improve.
So, what is so important about intimacy and how do we recapture it in our relationships and marriage?
  1. When we are intimate, we risk being vulnerabilityWhen we are open, we risk revealing something about yourself that sometimes we feel we are not ready to reveal. We feel afraid to reveal more about ourselves and this hinders intimacy. Fear of getting hurt may be almost as strong as our desire for intimacy. So, we hold back and build up our defences.
    Love conquers our vulnerabilities. Accepting one another breaks the fear and encourages intimacy and acceptance. When vulnerabilities are accepted, our relationship will GROW… and strengthen. Do you want that to happen? A word of encouragement… take time for this.
  2. Good Verbal CommunicationIn the early days of love when we are full of young love, we never stop talking. We share about our opinions on everything from music to movies and from politics to Shakespeare. After familiarity sets in or after marriage, we cut down on communication to the bare essentials – honey, what time you’re back? or what’s for dinner? – as we cross paths in the porch or kitchen. Eventually, in the gaps, we start to make assumptions. We need to get back to the rich details that taught us so much during courtship.
    Take time to talk to one another. Spend time talking instead of reading your favorite newspaper or watching your TV sitcom. Rekindle that first love. Get into spending time out; together in a favorite restaurant or have a walk in the park. Talk and talk and talk.
  3. Physical closenessThe casual touch on the arm as you make a point; stroking the neck as you watch TV; smooching and long cuddles. Sounds wonderful? But, these little gestures are just as important in themselves as sexual intercourse. Sadly, casual physical closeness is often seen as an overture to lovemaking rather than as a joy in its own right. It its understandable that both partners lead busy lives, but making an effort in physical closeness is crucial to the health of your relationship or marriage.
When one partner is always responsible for initiating lovemaking, he or she can be left wondering if their lover still finds them attractive. “I know she cares, but does she still fancy me?”
How do you make love work? Get intimate with your partner or spouse. Intimacy is crucial to prevent a couple from drifting into a friendship or even brother/sister relationship.
  • Recover that vulnerability when you first met and rekindle that trust, love and acceptance.
  • Recover that good verbal communication to get back to the rich details during courtship.
  • Recover that physical closeness can play a major part to to show how much you care and not mere precursor to sex.
Get intimate. I know what you are thinking – sex?? No, it could lead to sex, but intimacy is MORE THAN JUST THAT. God bless!

Saturday, May 7, 2011


Too often relationships end because people fail to continue to do the work. Finding the person you want to be with is only part of the story, striving to keep the spark is a never ending challenge. Follow these steps to enjoy an enduring bond with your significant other.


    • 1
      It's all about the little things. The little things add up and ultimately mean so much more than the big things. Show up unexpectedly at his/her work to have lunch together. Make dinner, do a load of laundry, or clean the bathroom so she doesn't have to. Mow the lawn for him or take out the garbage. Do something out of the norm every once in a while...or better yet, regularly to show that you care.
    • 2
      Surprises are the spice of life. Leave a note in somewhere he/she will find the pillow, or a pocket or purse. Make it romantic or sexy or humorous. Arrange for a special getaway or a couples massage. Plan a picnic on a nice day. Hop in the car and drive. Sign up for dancing lessons. Keep it interesting.
    • 3
      Be a giver. Maybe you hate chick flicks or horror movies but know that your significant other would really like to see a particular new release. Go. Go and be gracious about it. Maybe you hate sushi or Indian or Thai. Go and find something to eat.
    • 4
      Build something together. Relationships are all about making memories and a shared history. Work on a remodeling project together. Find a hobby to share. Plan and take a major trip.
    • 5
      Document it. Take pictures. Record videos. Keep a journal. Show that shared time, shared moments matter.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Love and Numerology

Love Numerology

Numerology, like Astrology, is a belief system that is traced back many centuries. The basic idea is that we are influenced to some extent by our birth name and birth date. It is believed that numerology can not only help you better understand yourself, but it can also help you to better understand your relationships.

 Destiny Number calculation instructions

Numerology works by assigning a numeric value to your birth name. Basically, the numerology system uses a letter chart to assign a number to each letter.


Start by writing your full birth name down and then assigning a number for each letter of your name.

For instance:
John Joseph Doe
JOHN = 1 + 6 + 8 + 5 = 20 = 2
(Note - when you have a 2 digit number, you add the two numbers together)
JOSEPH = 1 + 6 + 1 + 5 + 7 + 8 = 28 = 10 = 1
DOE = 4 + 6 + 5 = 15 = 6

Now calculate your destiny number.
2 + 1 + 6 = 9

You Destiny number is what provides you with the information about yourself.
If you get an 11 or 22 above, these are "master numbers" that have their own special meaning on top of their single number represenation.

What the Numbers Mean

Before you can understand how numerology effects your relationships, you must first know how it effects you as an individual.

1 - Ambitious, adventurous, independent, self-sufficient, original, individual
2 - Supportive, diplomatic, analytical, kind, sensitive, intuitive, cautious
3 - Enthusiastic, optimistic, fun-loving, inspired, visionary, creative, happy, artistic
4 - Practical, traditional, serious, management, conservative, efficient, organized
5 - Adventurous, mercurial, inventive, flexible
6 - Responsible, careful, domestic, passionate, harmonious, trusting, creative
7 - Spiritual, eccentric, analytical, calculative, understood, intuitive, investigative, solitary
8 - Power, financially aware, authoritative, organized, efficient, skilled, decisive, stern
9 - Multi-talented, compassionate, creative, imaginative, benevolent, intuitive, generous, devoted, dedicated, emotional
11 - Aware, creative, dreamy, enlightened, intense
22 - goal-oriented, great achiever, ingenuous, innovative

There are more individual numerology calculations if you'd like to learn more about yourself as an individual.

Numerology, Love and Relationships

Like your birth sign, your numerological number also plays an important role in your love life and relationships. Numerology can explain why some relationships are more deep and intimate than others. It can also help you to improve your current relationships, understand how you compliment each other, and avoid any pitfalls that may arise.

While numerology can provide you with an insight into yourself and your relationship, remember that many things contribute to a successful relationship and if you are meant to be together, you will be, regardless of your numerology results.

Numerology and Married Names
A name is more than a label. It is the key to who you are and can be a powerful influence in your life. Your true numerology reading comes from your birth name, which reflects your talents, strengths, weaknesses, unique character traits, and more. This name is the closest to who you truly are. If you are married and have changed your name, you may want a numerology reading on your married name as well. Because a loving relationship has a beneficial impact on the woman, these energies impact her numerology reading.

Partner Numbers
Your partner number is a love numerology calculation you can do to gain insight into the strengths and weaknesses of your current relationship.

Determining your Compatibility with Love Numerology
To determine your love numerology, you must first determine both your own destiny number and your partner's destiny number (see above to calculate your destiny number). Next, find your match below:

1 & 1 - A natural fit.
You are two independent spirits with a desire to lead. You may have the desire to compete, but you need to set common goals and strive to reach them together. As accepting individuals, you'll have an exciting and passionate romance.

1 & 2 - A challenging fit.
Your relationship could work if you both remember to keep working at it. Generally, this match works better in stereotypical roles with the 1 being the breadwinner and the 2 being the homemaker. You'll have to work more than others to keep the romance alive, but if you do, you'll have a great relationship.

1 & 3 - A compatible fit.
You compliment each other well. Whether it be a business or relationship, the 3, a creative individual, provides many ideas, while the 1, helps guide these ideas to fruition. This is a fun match with no dull moments.

1 &4 - A challenging fit.
Your relationship is a difficult one. The 1 is an independent spirit and the 4 tends to like control. If you respect each other, listen to one another, and accept each other for who they are, you will do well.

1 & 5 - A natural fit.
You are two independent spirits and your relationship has extreme passion. If you allow each other the space that you need and desire, you'll continue to live with passion and romance.

1 & 6 - A challenging fit.
Your relationship will be a more challenging one because the 1 is an independent spirit, while the 6 tends to be a caretaker. You're relationship will be a happy one, but only if you respect each other and give each other the support that you both need.

1 & 7 - A natural fit.
You're both very different, but you work quite well together. You work especially well together intellectually as the 7 has great insights and the 1 motivates well. Though you may sometimes get busy, you have wonderful passion together.

1 & 8 - A neutral fit.
Your relationship is a difficult one as you are both assertive and somewhat demanding in life. You're both ambitious and would work quite well together in a business sense. Set your romantic priorities and respect each other's limits. If you are open and willing to compromise you should do just fine.

1 & 9 - A compatible fit.
You're different, yet compatible at the same time. The 9, a very giving individual, may have a difficult time in tolerating the 1, an independent spirit. If you accept each others differences, the passion will come.

2 &2 - A natural fit.
Your relationship is a great one filled with romance and love. You're so alike that you may get on each other's nerves, so be careful to avoid petty disputes. Your mutual love and respect will help to kept the love flowing.

2 & 3 - A compatible fit.
You have great chemistry together. Your relationship is one filled with energy, humor, and love. You balance each other well and while you may have difficulties ahead, if you focus on your mutual interests and remain patient, things will balance themselves out.

2 & 4 - A natural fit.
Your relationship is one of steadiness and stability. While you may lack the excitement of some other pairings, you both prefer the humdrum of home and family. You're love will last and you're in this for the long haul.

2 & 5 - A challenging fit.
Yours is a difficult relationship as you have very different personalities. The 5 tends to need a freedom that the 2 doesn't desire. If you continuously work at it, your love will grow strong.

2 & 6 - A compatible fit.
The two of you are quite compatible together. The 2's caring nature and desire for love fits well with the 6' need for family. Be considerate of one another's feelings and you'll continue to grow together.

2 & 7 - A challenging fit.
Yours is a difficult relationship because the 7 has a need for space and solitude, while the 2 has a great need to be shown love. If you stay tuned to each other's needs, wants, and desires, your relationship will continue to grow.

2 & 8 - A natural fit.
You compliment each other perfectly. The 2's desire for love and family works well with the 8's desire to succeed and provide for the family. This pairing works especially well in the traditional family model. Count your blessings, because your relationship is one that will last.

2 & 9 - A neutral fit.
Your relationship could go either way. The 2 desires love and the 9 likes to provide this, but the love that 9 provides is not always directed towards their partner. If it is, your relationship will be full of passion.

3 & 3 - A natural fit.
This is relationship is definitely a wild ride. Each of you are fun individually, but together your social life explodes. Avoid overdoing it and remember to stay grounded in the everyday aspects of your relationship. Work at building this stability so that the passion doesn't explode.

3 & 4 - A challenging fit.
This is a difficult relationship because the 3 is spontaneous and takes things as they come, while the 4 tends to micro-manage. If you allow each other space and learn to meet in the middle, you'll do just fine.

3 &5 - A compatible fit.
Your relationship is one of passion and partying. Both social and entertaining numbers, your relationship will never dull. While creative, more everyday, mundane tasks, such as financial affairs, can become problematic. Work together, pay attention to everyday obligations and you'll do well.

3 & 6 - A natural fit.
Your relationship comes naturally as you have chemistry and compatibility. You work together well as the 3's creativeness is balanced by the 6's stability. Keep each other's feelings in mind and you'll have a happy home life.

3 & 7 - A challenging fit.
Yours is a difficult relationship as your personalities are extremely different. The 7 is a individual who needs solitude, while the 3 is often caught up in a social whirlwind. Do not confront one another. Instead, be understanding and willing to compromise. Remember your differences and work them out together.

3 & 8 - A challenging fit.
You relationship is one to prove that opposites attract -- and last. It will be a difficult road because the social interaction that the 3 needs and desires will not be met by the 8 who has a need for authority. Take time away and enjoy each other and you should be able to make this work.

3 & 9 - A natural fit.
You work so well together because of your creativeness, social ability, and desire to see life as your own personal stage. As long as you remember to share your spotlight in life, you'll avoid the negative effects. While your relationship tends to be filled with romantic adventures and excitement, don't forget every day tasks that life and relationships require.

4 & 4 - A natural fit.
Yours is a solid relationship built on solid values and common goals. You both desire success, just be sure that part of this success is in your relationship and romance. Remember that it's ok to be spontaneous and try to avoid being stubborn. Your relationship is one of the most stable and is destined to last a lifetime.

4 & 5 - A challenging fit.
Yours is a difficult relationship, mostly because of your temperaments and communication skills. While the 4 is very direct, the 5 tends to be the complete opposite. Pay attention to what is said and what is inferred and you should do fine.

4 & 6 - A compatible fit.
Your relationship is one of comfort and stability. You're destined to have a solid relationship and a happy home life, so long as you remember to compromise and show affection.

4 & 7 - A compatible fit.
You're a good match, but as a couple, you tend to be extremely serious. You are both devoted and loyal, but you may be a bit too serious, lacking passion and desire. Try to ease up from time to time and enjoy your life together.

4 & 8 - A natural fit.
Your relationship is comfortable and stable as you are both hardworking and have a desire to build a secure future together. Just be sure to step back from your planning to spend time together. Perhaps you should use those planning desires to plan a romantic getaway.

4 & 9 - A challenging fit.
Yours is a difficult relationship because you are so very different. While the 4 is secure and solid, the 9 tends to be more social. To make this work, you must really focus on the things you have in common.

5 &5 - A natural fit.
An adventurous couple that values freedom, you have a relationship filled with passion and drama. You work especially well together because you are accepting and tend to stay out each other's way. Just be sure to stay focus and avoid needless jealousy and all should go well.

5 & 6 - A challenging fit.
Yours is a difficult relationship because the 6 wants commitment and the 5 desires freedom. To make this relationship work, you need to learn the art of compromise.

5 & 7 - A natural fit.
You have an easy relationship built on individual freedom. Intellectually, you'll never run out of things to discuss. The problem occurs if you forget to make time for each other.

5 & 8 - A neutral fit.
Your relationship will require a bit more work and compromise than others. The 5 seeks freedom, while the 8 likes to control. If you carefully plan and compromise, your relationship will work.

5 & 9 - A compatible fit.
You are compatible, though you must take time for your relationship in the midst of your business. Though your relationship is likely going through changes, explore all possibilities and establish a secure commitment.

6 & 6 - A natural fit.
You are a natural pair with a relationship filled with relationship, love, and a commitment to family. Your natural desire to lead your family could cause stress in your relationship, so compromise and learn to accept each other's faults.

6 & 7 - A challenging fit.
Your relationship is a difficult combination requiring some compromise. The 6 may be controlling, while the 7 doesn't like to be controlled. Look to the long term and try to see the big picture and you will work through your natural tendencies.

6 & 8 - A compatible fit.
You're a great match of two honest, open, and positive individuals. You compliment each other well. If 6 curbs the possessiveness and 8 takes time for love and home, you'll endure.

6 & 9 - A natural fit.
You are a compatible, happy couple with respect and admiration for one another. Allow for some individual differences and your relationship will last a lifetime.

7 &7 - A natural fit.
You are a natural fit together. Explore life and your relationship and allow for some individual eccentricities. Remember to communicate with one another and your romance will endure.

7 & 8 - A challenging fit.
Yours is a difficult relationship as 8 wants to control and 7 resists control. You work well together physically, but you need to make sure to connect on an emotional level with arguments. If you can compromise, you'll bring stability to your relationship.

7 & 9 - A neutral fit.
Your relationship depends on your spiritual attraction. If your spiritual beliefs align, you're relationship will endure. If you're spiritual beliefs divide, then compromise is not likely to help.

8 & 8 - A natural fit.
A strong match, your relationship is filled with romance and passion. You are a solid match, but communication could be a downfall. Be sure to make time for each other, communicate with one another, and focus on being equals.

8 & 9 - A challenging fit.
Yours is a difficult relationship because of your personality differences. The 9 is a humanitarian, while the 8 seeks material rewards. There is a potential for much love and harmony together, but you must recognize your priorities and learn from one another.

9 & 9 - A natural fit.
Your relationship is a natural fit with much romantic promise. You share a selfless nature, each wanting to please the other. As long as you are there for one another, you'll grow and continue to share the deep bond that you have formed.

11 & any number.
See the section for destiny number 2 & the partnering number. Your destiny number of 11 is added together to become two for the purposes of your love numerology reading.

22 & any number.
See the section for destiny number 4 & the partnering number. Your destiny number of 2 is added together to become four for the purposes of your love numerology reading.