Monday, February 28, 2011

Online Dating :Top 4 Lies That Men Tell

The most important thing to consider before you misrepresent yourself online is that a woman, when you meet her in person for the first time, will feel like you've been lying to her.

If you think about what’s most important to women in a relationship, it's trust. If your online profile is full of lies, a woman will immediately not trust you. Then, regardless of how good of a salesman you might be, you will have to spend all your time convincing her that the person you really are is not a liar.

So, let's go through four of the biggest and most common online profile lies that men tell, and how each of these will backfire on you.

1- Using An Old Photo
One of most common lies men tell are through the photos they use in their online profiles. Men will often put up pictures of themselves that were taken at the peak of their attractiveness. They might post pictures of themselves weighing 20 or 30 pounds less, or with more hair.

The problem with doing this is that any woman you meet online will be expecting to meet the person she sees in those pictures -- as you look in those pictures. It really has nothing to do with “how” you look; it's simply the fact that you do not look as you portrayed yourself to look. In other words, your online profile was a lie. When you meet a woman after having posted these non-current photos of you, her first thought about you is not going to be an evaluation of your actual appearance, but rather that you are someone who wasn't honest about yourself.

What most guys do then is defend themselves. They'll tell the woman, "Don't worry, I'm going to get back into shape." Defending yourself is no way to start a date. You don’t want to be fighting an uphill battle on a date -- especially a first date. The best way to start is with a woman being excited about getting to know you and what you're all about.

So, here's what you want to do. Stay away from professional photos, as they tend to make you look like you are trying too hard. Instead, go out with a friend and have him take some current pictures of you throughout the day. That way, women can see what you really look like. Also, make sure you’re wearing different clothes in each of the photos, so it doesn’t look staged. The most important thing to remember is to have fun with this! It's your first impression (along with your online profile).

2- Lying About Your Age
Another area of where men lie on their online profiles is age. So many men dating online lie about their age because they are perpetually chasing younger women. Men who are 45 years old will say they're 39; men who are 55 years old will say they're 45.

When you lie about your age, you will only fool women until you actually meet them in person. If you say that you're 39 years old when you're really 45, a woman will know you're not 39 years old the minute you show up to that first date. She'll probably, in fact, ask you how old you really are. That's when most guys give the standard "why I lied" answer and say, "I look a lot younger than my age in person, and if you knew I was 45 you probably wouldn't have gone out with me."

Let me tell you something: If this is a 28- or 29-year-old woman who said she was looking for a guy up to age 39, then you're right that she probably won't want to go out with you again -- now that she knows you're 45.

If she stated that she was looking to meet someone only within a certain age range, then that was a requirement of hers, and not a loose guideline. She won't want to go out with you again, not only because you are not what she already plainly said she was looking for, but also (once again) because she will see you as someone she can't trust. You've already lied to her once.

If you're looking to date younger women, then online is not the place for you to find them. Meet them in person. People online want to meet people who fall within the parameters of what they specify in their online identity.

Also, what do you think lying about your age on your online profile says about you? It says that you’re not really comfortable about where you are in your life. If you're a guy chasing much younger women, it may suggest to her that you are emotionally immature.

Maybe it's time you stopped chasing the dream, and started to get real about who you are.

3- Telling Her What She Wants To Hear
When you're dating online, it’s important to be very clear about whether you want to have children, because a lot of women want to have children.

A lot of men who don't want children will check the boxes that say they are “open to children,” or “possibly want children.” They do this so they’ll be matched up with, and possibly get responses from, more women. Because so many women want children, these men think their choices will be limited if they put on their online profile that they don't want children. This is not the right mind-set.

You need to have a “people like me are abundant” mind-set. If you don't want children, date the women who also don't want children. There are plenty of them out there.

What you don't want to do is take someone on an emotional journey on which you are not prepared to follow through. You’ll only end up in a mess of a situation.

It will help if you write down what you really want. Most people who misrepresent themselves on their online profiles are not really clear about what they want, or they are chasing an illusion or a fantasy. Get clear and have an “abundant” mind-set, and you will no longer feel the need to misrepresent anything about yourself.

Instead of telling women what you think they want to hear, it is always better to connect with people by being honest, and telling them where you are at this point in your life. Most women have been lied to so many times that your truthfulness will be refreshing (even if you are on different romantic paths).

4- Mirroring Her
The last way men lie on their profiles is in the way they write their profile. When you write your profile, don't write it to sound like a romance novel unless you plan to act it out.

A lot of men who are just interested in fooling around with women will write their online profile in ways that make them seem like someone who wants a relationship. They'll say that they enjoy taking long walks on the beach, or that they are "all about romance," when in reality they’re only interested in casual sex with the women they’re meeting.

If you don't want a relationship, then don't write a romance-novel-sounding profile, with which women will emotionally connect. You need to be clear about your intentions, and literally write them down. For example, you might write something like, "I'm not sure about what I want in terms of dating, right now. I'd like to meet some interesting women, date and have some fun."

This is not about making a judgment about what you do or don't want. It is just very important to be honest about whatever it is that you do want. You need to avoid taking a woman on an emotional journey on which you are not prepared to accompany her.

Also, be up-front about your real interests. Do you really want to spend your days pretending you like art museums, when they bore you out of your mind -- just so you can get certain women online to like you? Here is a better alternative: Negotiate.

Tell a woman that one weekend will be all about going to museums, so she can show you her passion, but the next weekend you two will hit the beach and play Frisbee so you can show her your passion. This is a good way to bond with the woman you really like, without ever having to pretend you like something you don't. Plus, if you end up in a relationship together, there will be plenty of days when you will each do your own thing.

What A Tangled Web We Weave...
Misrepresenting yourself online says a lot about who you are as a person. Above all, it says that you are really not in touch with what you want. It also says that you don't practice “abundance” -- that you don't believe there are plenty of great women out there with whom you can connect, so you feel the need to misrepresent yourself (OK, lie) on your profile.

Whether it's about the way your body looks, your age or what you're looking for in terms of a relationship, misrepresenting yourself online will always backfire on you. You need to believe that there are tons of women out there for you to meet and connect with.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

7 Signs of Cheating

7 Signs of Cheating

Hank Williams sang “your cheatin’ heart will tell on you.” But how do you know if your partner’s really stepping out? Examine these seven signs of cheating. But don’t go overboard: If you notice just one sign, don’t worry yet. But four of the seven behaviors means it’s time to talk.
The 7 signs of cheating:
  1. Lost time
  2. Lost money
  3. Attitude changes
  4. Changes in daily behavior
  5. Changes in phone and computer use
  6. Changes in your relationship
  7. Intuition
1. Lost time
Your partner suddenly starts stealing moments away from communal time. While this could just indicate hard work, it might be a cause for concern if your partner consistently and unexpectedly works late, has projects that must be worked on nights (could be odd hours) or weekends or holidays, has company functions more often or other meetings that must be attended, is going out with friends. Maybe it’s a “short” (you would think) trip to the store for soda that takes three hours, or a walk around the block (maybe walking the dog) that lasts too long.
2. Lost money
Money is spent and unaccounted for – “If you want to play, you have to pay.” It’s a big red flag when your partner doesn’t want you to see the bills, hides the bills when they come in and only lets you know the amount (if you are the one paying), shreds the bills, locks them up in a room/file cabinet/container that you have no access to or has the bills sent to work or a post office box.
3. Attitude changes
There are definite and unaccountable changes in your partner’s mood and attitude. Examples include:
  • Your partner is indifferent to family events like birthdays and holidays.
  • You find your partner has been lying to you.
  • Money becomes more of an issue between the two of you.
  • Your partner doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything with you anymore.
  • You can’t even get your partner to fight with you.
  • You feel as if you are being avoided.
  • Your partner abandons religious faith.
  • Your partner seems more secretive.
  • Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you (they either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible mate you are).
  • Your partner seems bored. Bored with you, with job, with kids, with hobbies, with life in general.
  • Your partner seems to want danger or thrills.
  • You notice your partner has a sense of confusion about self.
  • Your partner becomes lazy, especially around the house.
  • Your partner gets very defensive if you mention infidelity or affairs.
4. Changes in daily behavior
There are definite and unaccountable changes in your partner’s daily routine and typical behaviors. Examples include:
  • You find odd things – a gift in the car, a greeting card with suggestive writings in it.
    Your partner is suddenly possessive of a wallet, pocket calculator, cell phone, PDA, computer or email – because there could be receipts, phone numbers, photos, etc.
  • Your partner comes home smelling of alcohol – particularly if the person is late coming home from work.
  • Car manners suddenly change – Car is kept clean of any evidence of you; if you have two cars, insistence on always having it cleaned FIRST before you can ride in it.
  • Appearance – Partner often forgets to wear engagement/wedding ring, takes a new interest in clothing and appearance, smells freshly showered at 1:00 a.m., smells of different, unknown cologne or soap, starts keeping an overnight bag in car or office.
  • Conversation – talks about subjects never interested in before, uses new words and phrases.
  • Trips/recreation – partner encourages you to go alone to visit family and friends, spends more time with “old friends,” starts new hobby, talks about movies or other fun things that were not seen with you, orders new and different dishes in restaurants, if you want to go, there is some reason why you shouldn’t (“you wouldn't have a good time there anyway”).
  • You find birth control pills in her medicine cabinet and you've had a vasectomy, or he carries condoms and you are on the pill.
  • Partner stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.
  • Partner refuses to let you take him/her to the airport when leaving town.
  • Partner has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.
  • Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.
  • You find out by accident that he or she took a vacation day or personal time off from work– but supposedly worked on those days.
  • Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.
  • Suddenly works long hours or weekends and never seems to be at his/her desk to answer the phone. Calls back later with a reason such as “I was working in the conference room where there was more space.”
  • Has lots of “emergency errands” but then comes home empty-handed, saying “They didn’t have what I needed.”
5. Changes in phone and computer use
There are definite changes in your partner’s communication manners. Examples are:
  • Partner buys a cell phone and is possessive of it.Partner sets up a new email account and doesn’t tell you about it.
  • Partner spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.
  • Cell phone or text messages made or received at odd times – with partner not wanting you to see the cell phone.
  • You see unusual codes on the display, like 911, or 11111, etc.
  • Locks the cell phone or erases the call log.
  • Turns off the cell phone regularly but tells you it’s in a dead zone or out of range.
  • Partner rushes to answer the phone; there are more hang-ups when you answer; your partner is constantly checking Caller ID and deleting numbers or starts to buy phone cards. You see calls being made from pay phones on your bill.
  • Partner deletes all incoming emails, when they used to be allowed to accumulate.
6. Changes in your relationship
There are definite changes in behavior toward you – the cheater, out of guilt, can start acting mean, short, curt or otherwise abusive toward you. The cheater has a stake in doing this and making you the one at fault in order to justify the affair. Your partner might also want to find you cheating or accuse you of doing so, in order to also ease the guilty conscience. Other changes and oddities that signal a cheating partner are:
  • At the beginning of an affair the mate that is cheating is more attentive to his partner. This is due to guilt that the cheater may be feeling at the time.
  • “Tending” behavior, where the cheater has to know where you are all the time in order to work in the affair around your schedule.
  • Sex changes – after a very healthy physical relationship, lately there has been a large drop-off.
  • Perhaps the partner sleeps in another room sometimes. Conversely, because the partner also might want to avoid suspicion, there might be an increase in sex – but what also might occur is some new or unusual sexual positions, calling out someone else's name during sex.
7. Your intuition
The single most telltale sign of a cheating partner? Having to ask that question in the first place. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! An intuition (gut feeling) that something is not right usually is a sign you may have a cheating problem. “When in doubt check them out.”
How should you handle suspicions?
TRUE’s strong advocacy of openness, truthfulness and faithfulness in relationships speaks against snooping on your partner. There is no universally accepted definition of snooping, but we regard it as the deceptive and intrusive monitoring of another’s private property or activities. Rather, we suggest openly confronting your partner with any concerns of infidelity in a respectful and responsible manner. The health of your relationship is your responsibility. Affairs are usually symptoms of deeper, preexisting problems in a relationship. No sign individually is 100% indicative of infidelity – an affair is more likely when you observe the presence of all seven signs in your relationship.
Therefore, we recommend being cognizant of the seven key signs outlined above. You can deduce much about the health of your relationship without snooping. For example, be tuned in to home telephone calls when your partner has a tendency to whisper or gives a quick answer and immediately hangs up or when you answer the telephone and get an abrupt hang-up. You may want to monitor your partner for two weeks. During this time keep track of the mileage on the car. Monitor the time your partner leaves for work and comes home. Keep a calendar and note the times; this should help you establish a pattern. If your partner claims to be working late, check paycheck stubs to verify this overtime. Check cell phone bills to see whether a certain number has been frequently called. A good area to start looking is for the first number called when your partner first leaves for work and the same number called again right before they return home. Isn’t this snooping?! We don’t think so, because these behaviors are neither deceptive nor intrusive … and they do not violate a partner’s privacy. Cell phone bills and car mileage are bits of information that belong to the couple as a unit.

Lastly, do not think that infidelity is only a “guy thing.” In past years, men were mostly the aggressors, but with the increase of women in the work force in society today, women have become equally aggressive.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

What is a Booty Call, and Can it turn into a Relationship?

Booty Call: This is when someone has the ability to flex their dialing finger and call up a certain person solely for the purpose of a shag. It tends to be late at night, it’s most definitely casual, no strings fun, and it relies on either both parties being grown up enough to know the deal and enjoy it for what it is, or for one person to be clever enough to let the other think that they’re getting more than they are, when all they’re looking for is boo-tay.
On the very basis that booty calls relies on the parties using each other for sex and you being flexible enough not to mind, why the hell would you want it to turn into a relationship? If you’re doing the booty call right, you don’t know enough about their character or personality to warrant even considering having a relationship. Technically all you know is that they screw well (God help you if you’re having a crap sex with a booty call…) and that when it comes to getting free and easy sex without any hassle, they can be punctual about arriving, and even more punctual about beating a hasty retreat to their own home, so that you can finish getting a good nights sleep. If you’ve been talking and getting to know each other…you just aren’t doing it right!
Booty calls are about using people for sex and whilst it’s a case of each to their own, it’s not a great advertisement for a person. Trust me when I say that booty calls are not something that everybody indulges in. The fact that all he wants to do is rock up when he gets hard, stick it to you and then leave, shouldn’t have you hankering for a relationship!
But unfortunately, we often confuse sex, especially good sex that makes you scream the place down with ecstasy and practically has you swinging from the chandeliers, with love and this is a recipe for disaster. Good sex, fantastic sex, does not a relationship make. Getting to know one another, building a connection, having good/great/fantastic sex, and having the basics for the foundation of a relationship is what you need. Attempting to go from booty call to relationship is like closing the door after the horse has bolted. The likelihood is that if you did get to know the person, the sex could quite easily take a nosedive, after all if you both had such great personalities, how did you end up leapfrogging the formalities and saying screw getting to know each other, let’s just screw?
If of course you’ve been foolish enough to have a relationship and then become a booty call, and are now hoping that a relationship is on the cards, I suggest you go and put yourself on the naughty step and ask yourself whether you’re on crack. If the guy can shag you without having to do all of the attendant stuff that came along with having a relationship with you, what the hell is his incentive to have a relationship with you now? You can’t shag someone into liking you and the fact that he’s come creeping back for a shag shows that you’re good enough to screw, but not good enough for him to treat you right and commit to your relationship.
If you want a relationship that badly, I suggest you stop being the booty call. Nobody needs sex that badly (unless their a sex addict and that’s a different issue) and it’s far easier to put yourself in line for relationship opportunities, if you aren’t sexually invested with someone else who is potentially confusing you emotionally. Booty call’s are really the stock and trade of people who genuinely want nothing other than to tap the booty and as soon as you want more, it’s time to opt out. Cut off the supply and start engaging with men that don’t come out after dark like vampires and who have more conversation in them than ‘Your place at 11 OK with you?’.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Have Better Sex- Top 10 Tips

A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won’t always be easy -- our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking, it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.

Women are cyclic creatures, and 
her sex drive will vary depending on her hormones and what’s going on in her life. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to get her hot and the same-old song and dance may not be enough. This applies to you too. 

Therefore, it's important to add a few more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.

Here are 10 tips for 
better sex, which should keep the two of you hot for some time to come.

Number 10

Blindfold Her

Sexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual organ we have is our brain. When one sense is hindered, our other senses -- via the brain -- clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has increased sensory awareness -- sight, smell, touch, and vibrations. For No. 10 entry on our 10 tips for better sex guide, we're telling you that you can tap into this innate ability of ours and use it to your advantage: Blindfolding your partner increases her sensory awareness. She doesn’t know where you are or what you are going to do next. This creates anticipation for better sex -- the tease. Tease her mercilessly with sensory objects, such as a feather or your tongue. Start off softly, as this excites her nerve endings and makes them far more sensitive. Be careful not to overstimulate the nerve endings, however, because after a while the neurons stop firing with such intensity and the sensation becomes null and void. 

Number 9

Give Her Instructions

After a while you may think you know how to please your partner in every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you haven’t tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does that could be done differently. 

To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each other's mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes "the way it’s done." 
Lose this myth and put yourself in the student's chair for a while for better sex you won't regret. 

Number 8


Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner, which is why it makes it onto our 10 tips for better sex list. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow -- including sexual energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: the fuel (our energy) can’t get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and the car performs inefficiently and ineffectively. 

A relaxing sensual massage can unlock her body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The same goes for her: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and a sensual massage is in the manner of touch -- you don’t want to relax her too deeply because she will probably fall straight to sleep.

The key to better sex in this case is to keep her senses alert, but her body relaxed. This means a firm touch, coupled with some sensory feather-light caresses. Once you've relaxed her major muscles -- shoulders and back -- work your way down to her buttocks. Strokes can then start to wander near to, but not on, her inner thighs, butt crease and vagina. Don’t forget her hands and feet -- there are thousands of nerve endings in our hands and feet that are very sensitive to touch. If you have no idea what a good massage feels like or how to perform one, spend some time in "lesson time" with your partner and learn what you both like or just run your hands all over her body -- all over. Don’t skip to the hot spots or you’ll ruin the effect. 

Number 7

Have Her Dress Up

Pretending to be something you're not comes easily to some people. However, it has its benefits when done for fun. Stepping out of the role of being "yourself" can be a fun way to give each other permission to behave differently for better sex. Playing the role of someone else during sexual play is a very enjoyable way to give your partner some different sensations, and try things that you haven’t done before. Role playing is a great way to have better sex and to have fun with your partner in a light-hearted but sexy way. It is often the woman who does the dressing up simply because A) They enjoy it; and B) They have the resources of clothes, underwear and makeup -- but don't forget that you can play too.. 

Number 6

Tell Her Your Fantasies

Talking about your fantasies with your partner is a very conducive form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner, which is of great importance, as well, it also helps you get to know each other better for better sex. Yes, you may be surprised by what comes out of her mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first and don’t throw her in the deep end with fantasies about people you both know or reveal fetishes you aren't sure about. Sit back with a glass of wine and keep your clothes on -- for now. Fantasy play can also be incorporated into a game for better sex. Use your imagination, and keep it sexy. Take it in turns and see where it leads you.

Number 5

Play A Game

Get a pack of cards and play strip poker for better sex. It may seem like something you would have done when you were in high school (given the opportunity), but adult strip poker is a good way to get naked. Once you are both naked (or nearly naked), you can start on the really fun part: A loss means the other person gets to choose what action is performed on them by the loser. Time limits like one minute on said action means that it is a prolonged game of seduction, which by the end will have you both clamoring to be both the winner and the loser. There are many other games you can play "strip" to, as long as there is regular winner and loser to reward and punish respectively. The great part about these games is that you can both ask the other person to do something in a certain way that you may not necessarily have ever done before. It can get rather filthy, and definitely lead to better sex in the end. 

Number 4

Dirty Talk

Talking dirty has turned people on for millennia and will continue to do so because it has something other sex play doesn’t: words. Because our brains are our largest sexual apparatus, we respond to the spoken word automatically -- especially when someone says our name. The spoken word evokes emotions, sensations and blood flow to various regions, depending on the topic. 

This works very much in your favor when it comes to talking dirty to your lover because women are especially susceptible to what goes in their ears (and I don’t mean cotton buds or ear candles). Talking dirty is, however, an art form and when done badly can result in fits of giggles (which, lets face it, ain't so bad but isn't quite the goal here). Don’t let this deter you.

For better sex, start off easy with neutral dirty-talk topics, such as how you feel inside her, how much you are enjoying the act and what you would like to do to her next. Don’t get too carried away, but let it flow out of you. Dirty talk can be a bit daunting at first, if you are not used to verbalizing these things, so practice. You will see how she responds to you. Dirty talk also comes under the "encouragement" category -- when she sees that you like something very much, she will be more interested in doing it more. The rawness of the sexual passion aroused with dirty talk is why it is so effective. Be careful with swearing too much -- though a good dose of foul language is part and parcel with dirty talk (its not called dirty talk for nothing), too much swearing/name calling can be a turn off. Try to stick to positive words, and leave the commonly used insult words out. Watch what you call her body parts too -- just make sure she can handle it before launching into your tirade of filth. Chances are, the passion from you will ignite hers two-fold.  

Number 3

Try A New Position

You already know how to bring her to orgasm in two ways (probably). You repeat these regularly because they work -- there's no harm in that. However, if you never, ever try any new positions again, how will you ever know? New positions need a reasonably high level of arousal in your lover, so choose your time to strike a new pose when she is quite obviously feeling very randy.  

There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so you can use your imagination and come up with as many weird and wonderful inventions as you desire. Simply changing locations can dramatically change the position, so consider this too (for example on top of the washing machine, on a bench, beanbag or table).  

Number 2

Use A Cock Ring

Cock rings slow the drain of blood out of your erection, and keep you harder for longer. A very hard penis stimulates a woman’s insides slightly differently -- and much better -- than one that is getting soft around the edges. Cock rings are inexpensive and usually nice to look at, and make an interesting male sex toy to add to your collection. Cock rings ensure that you can maintain the pace without faltering for better sex. This is very pleasing to your lady friend.  

Number 1

Try A New Place

Sex in a new locale is definitely up there in exciting things to do for better sex. You can take a drive somewhere secluded where you can get a bit risqué. Try a public place (not too public) or simply move to a different room or area in your home -- or even someone else’s home. Whatever tickles your fancy. There are a million and one different places to have sex other than your home, in your bed -- use them.  

Increase Your Pleasure

The list of helpful hints you have been presented with equates to a very good head start to a better sex life. The time and energy required to plan your adventures will pay off immediately, but also over the longer term. You will be rewarded according to the effort you put in with a great new skill set, and of course better sex. Make time, conserve some energy for it and relax. Life is short!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Learn When to Give Your Man an Ultimatum

You're tired of waiting. You've been in love with a man for some time and you thought by now you'd be married to him. At the very least you imagined you'd be sporting a beautiful diamond engagement ring on your finger. It doesn't look as though that will ever happen. You've hinted in some subtle and not so subtle ways but still no dropping to one knee and no "will you marry me" in sight. It's frustrating, isn't it? You're now wondering when is it time to give your man an ultimatum to marry you or hit the road. It may feel like that time is now but it's something you better seriously consider before you put it out there. Pushing a man you love in this way can mean the end of not only the future of your relationship but the present too.
If you're thinking about giving your man an ultimatum to marry you it's important to consider how it will make him feel. Men who are slow to commit generally have some very specific reasons for being that way. Those reasons range from being worried about the financial obligations that come with a wedding and marriage to being scared because they are a product of divorce. If you push your man by saying that it's either marriage or no relationship at all he may feel cornered and react by pulling back and ending things. If you don't want to risk that happening, it's important for you not to present your desire to be his wife in this way.
Talk to him about why he has reservations. If you've already tried this and he's told you that he's just not ready or he's not comfortable talking about it, try again. It's important that you explain to him that marriage is something you deeply desire. If you believe you know what is causing him to not want to commit, address that with him. Be understanding and patient as the two of you discuss this. If you get overly emotional or start pushing him in any way, everything may come to a standstill and marrying you will be the last thing on his mind.
If he refuses to talk about it or avoids the subject deliberately, it may be time for you to take some action. You shouldn't do anything drastic and there's still no reason to present him with an ultimatum to marry you or hit the road. Instead, focus less on him and what you want from the relationship and more on yourself. If you spend less time chasing after him to commit and more time exploring your life and all it can offer you, he'll notice. The key is to follow your own dreams and not to spend as much time with him as you have been. He's refusing to give you a commitment so stop acting as though you two are already married. This slight change in your attitude can make all the difference in the world to your relationship.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Top 10 Sexy Dates

No.1 Upscale Hotel Room
Sexiness rating: 10
Her likelihood of interest: 10

Spring for a nice hotel room for the night. The unfamiliarity of the surroundings will have her feeling adventurous. Add a Jacuzzi tub and volunteer to give her a full body massage, and you'll be guaranteed a night to remember. Bring along Durex® Play Massage, a 2-in-1 massage gel and lubricant that’ll do everything you need it to.

No.2 Chocolate Fondue
Sexiness rating: 8
Her likelihood of interest: 10

Anything involving chocolate -- an aphrodisiac and a girl’s best friend -- will get her in the mood, especially when you’re sharing it. Fondue can be very sexy and is easy enough to prepare at home. Remember, whenever you drop what you’re dipping into the pot, the rule is you have to kiss your fondue partner. Continue the tasting odyssey in the bedroom with a pack of Durex® Tropical flavored condoms.

No.3 Beach
Sexiness rating: 8
Her likelihood of interest: 10

Spending the day on the beach gives you plenty of time to ogle each other in sexy bathing suits while the sun, sand and surf put you in a playful, carefree mood. Following a trip to the beach with wild sex just makes sense. Despite the potential for sand in uncomfortable places, the idea of making out on a beach is still a classic, romantic ideal.

No.4 Dancing
Sexiness rating: 8
Her likelihood of interest: 8

Nearly every woman enjoys a night on the dance floor, and if she can drag her man out there, even better. Dancing can be a very sensual activity. There is no need for extreme bumping and grinding, however -- nobody wants to see you humping on the dance floor! Instead, keep a little distance between you; the moves will be enough to put her in the mood for more.

No.5 Drive-In Movie
Sexiness rating: 8
Her likelihood of interest: 8

The drive-in movie was made for making out. Pretend you’re teenagers and enjoy the feeling of nostalgia. Getting busy in a car is a novelty that doesn’t seem to wear off. Pick a movie neither of you has much interest in seeing because you will miss most of it.

No.6 Fancy Dress Event
Sexiness rating: 7
Her likelihood of interest: 9

Having an excuse to get dressed up is something nearly all women enjoy. Putting a little extra effort into her look will make her feel more confident and, consequently, more likely to want sex. Throw in some delicious cocktails and, perhaps, a decadent dessert (one fork only!) and she will leave the event in an amorous state of mind.

No.7 Burlesque Show
Sexiness rating: 9
Her likelihood of interest: 6

Burlesque is enjoying a revival lately with new groups and classes popping up everywhere. Tell your girlfriend that, unlike the strip club, burlesque is about empowering women to embrace their sexuality in a fun and entertaining way. The atmosphere at a burlesque show is playful and sexual. She might even want to do her own striptease for you when you get home.

No.8 Wine Tasting
Sexiness rating: 6
Her likelihood of interest: 7

Find a small vineyard in your area and ask if they do tours and wine tasting. It’s a great way to spend an afternoon and the wine will ensure that her inhibitions will be gone by the time you get home. Don’t forget to buy a bottle to drink together later.

No.9 Costume Party
Sexiness rating: 6
Her likelihood of interest: 7

Donning a costume with your girlfriend and attending a party full of similarly attired guests can get her feeling naughty. A little bit of role-playing in character and she’ll be up for wider experimentation at home. Encourage her to choose an outfit that shows off her sex appeal and her creativity.

No.10 Casino
Sexiness rating: 6
Her likelihood of interest: 6

Whether you like blackjack or roulette, a night at the casino can be exciting and stimulating. The thrill of gambling can get your blood moving for other activities later. Just make sure to go in with a predetermined amount of money to spend because gambling away your rent money won’t make either of you feel sexy.

Make Married Sex Better

Most people expect that the intensity of their sex lives will fade after they marry. Some guys even resign themselves to never having good sex again after deciding to spend the rest of their lives with one woman. But this doesn’t have to be the case; marriage doesn’t necessarily mean the death of hot sex, but it will take some effort from both of you to keep it steamy as the years go by. Here are some tips for having better sex as a married couple.

Use Sex To Get Past Ruts In Your Marriage
There will be times in your marriage when careers, family, kids, friends, hobbies and other important tasks will pack your schedule and get in the way of maintaining a good relationship. There will be periods when the two of you are not communicating well and don’t seem to be connecting with each other. When you experience these ruts in your relationship, don’t let sex go by the wayside. Use the time you have together wisely by getting frisky. If your marriage is experiencing a dip, it’ll fall even further if the two of you don’t connect sexually. Instead of abandoning your bedroom activities at the first sign of trouble, use sex to get back on track.

Stop Looking At Her As Your Wife
Yes, she is the love of your life -- the woman you chose to spend your days with until you both grow old. She is the mother of your children (if you have them) and a domestic goddess that runs your household and your family while still succeeding in a career and myriad other duties.

In order to make married sex better, try to stop thinking of her as your adorable and adoring wife when the two of you get frisky. Allow your imagination to run wild; think of her as a dirty sexpot and encourage her to play the part. Tap into the intense attraction you have for each other and forget that you’re husband and wife.

Make Your Room A No-Kid Zone
Having a better sex life with your wife requires that you both take a step away from your everyday lives and focus on each other. If you are parents, this means that you’re going to have to designate some space in your house for adult-only activities. To this end, consider making your bedroom a no-go area for your children. The kids usually have the run of the house, but if they know that mom and dad’s room is off-limits, you’ll be more likely to have time and space to yourselves on a regular basis. Your bedroom will become a haven where it’s all about the two of you.

Don’t Wear Pajamas
It’s a well-known fact that many people -- men and women alike -- feel it’s OK to let themselves go once the wedding vows are exchanged. Unfortunately, this is a one-way street to problems with your sex life. If you no longer bother to put in the effort to make yourself attractive to your spouse, she could lose interest in being intimate with you. Keep the sex hot by maintaining your looks. This means no flannel pajamas in bed. Slip under the sheets wearing what she thinks you look sexy in, whether it’s the T-shirt she loves to cuddle up to, just your boxers or nothing at all. Don’t come to bed covered up from head to toe. Hopefully this will encourage her to put some imagination into her sleepwear as well.

The Best Thing About Married Sex
The major benefit of having sex in a long-term relationship is that you should be able to trust your partner and not be afraid to share all aspects of your sexuality with her. Get your fantasies out in the open, push your boundaries and create the right environment in order to keep exploring sex with the woman you plan to grow old with.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

How To Succeed at Online Dating

Online dating can be dangerous and getting involved with the wrong person can be destroy your life. How do you put the odds in your favor when screening an online date? I have broken down the top 10 tips to increase your success in the online dating world so you can date better, safer and smarter to find that special person.

1. Take time to write a careful online profile. Make sure you use proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Be honest in your profile. If you aren’t honest in your profile, what’s the point? Eventually the truth will come out so don’t mislead people into thinking you are something that you are not. You wouldn’t want someone to mislead you so don’t do it to others.

2. Have fun. The most important part when meeting new people is to relax and have fun. When beginning your correspondence by email, be cautious and private, but don’t be overly serious either. A sense of humor online is just as important as offline.

3. Describe the person that you would like to meet in the greatest detail possible. If you want to meet someone who has never been married with no children, then say so. Otherwise, you will be wasting a lot of time turning people down who you have no interest in.

4. Give a detailed description of your interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. It is just as important to describe what you like, as well as what you dislike, so you attract someone with similar interests.

5. Update your profile occasionally to keep it fresh. For example, if you just got back from a great Caribbean holiday where you learned to scuba dive, write about it. There is nothing more boring than reading a generic online dating profile that says “I love to travel and enjoy reading.” Where do you like to travel to and why? What do you enjoy reading and why? Details, details

6. Add a bunch of different photos to your profile. Your main photo should be a head shot, preferably with you smiling. If your online dating service allows, upload more shots of you in various activities such as doing a hobby you enjoy, perhaps dressed up at a formal event or even a candid shot at work or school. Refrain from uploading shots that show too much skin or are too sexy because you will attract the wrong types of people. Having a photo on your profile is mandatory because a profile with a photo gets over 9 times the amount of replies than one without. If you are unsure if the person you are communicating with is for real, ask them to take a quick digital photo holding that days newspaper. Someone who has nothing to hide, would be more than happy to oblige if they really want to meet you and are for real.

7. Be polite when communicating online. If you are scared to tell someone “no” because it may hurt their feelings, simply tell them politely that you are looking for a certain type of person with specific characteristics and not to take it personally. Say “please” and “thank you.” If someone is rude to you or offends you, simply ignore them and/or block them.

8. Do not give out personal details such as your real first and last name or telephone early on and definitely do not include these in your profile. You have absolutely no idea who is on the other side of the computer. Con artists flock to the internet because it allows them to hide behind phony online profiles. They usually correspond with dozens of people at a time hoping one will bite their hook. Take your time and pretend like you are buying a house by asking questions and researching carefully. Only give out small pieces of information after you have developed a certain level of comfort.

9. Listen to Your Intuition. If something doesn’t feel right to you, it usually isn’t. Either move on or investigate further and proceed with caution. Read, listen, and ask lots of questions. If you think you are dealing with someone who is committed or married, ask for a home phone number and/or consistently call them between the hours of 8p-11p when a commitment person is unable to answer.

10. Always meet in a public place for the first time. A good place to meet is for coffee or lunch in a busy place. Make sure you let someone know where you will be and even have them phone you during the date for a safety check or an early escape if needed. Never meet in a bar or drink alcohol the first time you meet. You simply do not know this person well enough to let your guard down that early on. If you are really nervous, take along a friend or meet in a group setting. Make sure you drive yourself. If you are traveling to meet someone, stay in your own hotel and meet in a neutral location.

Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Why men cheat on women is an age-old question. The reasons why men cheat on women can be varied. Nevertheless, we have compiled a list of the top ten reasons why both married and unmarried men cheat. Sometimes their reasons don’t even involve you and it’s simply an ego-based decision. Other times, reasons why men cheat can involve you and your relationship, or lack thereof.

So why do some men cheat in relationships? Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce. However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp? Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions? Apparently not always.

Here are the top ten reasons why men cheat:

1. Because they had the option.
The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.

2. It boosts their ego.
Sometimes men no longer feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There is nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.

3. You grow apart.
Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.

4. You argue a lot.
Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.

5. They have fallen out of love.
Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.

6. Your sex life stinks.
If a man has a disinterested partner or isn’t getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from becoming boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.

7. To get revenge.
A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old-fashioned sex?

8. It’s new, different and exciting.
Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try a hamburger. The same goes for sex with a woman. That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.

9. To see if they can get away with it.
If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.

10. Because you have allowed it in the past.
If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.
Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons. Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest. After all, Karma can be a bitch.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Men Want Sex and Women Want Love

Men are frustrated with women because they never want sex.
Women are frustrated with men because they always want sex.

Women blame men they don’t know how to love.
Men blame women that they only talk about love but don’t want to make it.

Whether you are a man or a woman, reading this article can change your life - finally, you will be able to get rid of your frustrations about the opposite gender.

The reason humans want sex is due to the hormone testosterone, which is predominantly male hormone. A normal male’s body produces 20 times more of this hormone than a female’s.

In other words, a male feels the same way after one day without sex as a female after 20 days without sex. A male that has not had sex in 20 days feels the same way as a female after more than a year without sex.

Knowing this simple difference, you can already understand the pain of the opposite gender. It’s NOT their fault: they are made this way! It’s in our genes! This is the reason why men are men and women are women.

Men and women are DIFFERENT.
Not better or worse, just different.

A man can father a child every time he has sex, and a woman can only mother a child every two years or so. This means, a woman HAS TO be picky about who she allows to have sex with her.

For generations women were paying too high a price for making a wrong choice. Women that have chosen men with bad genes had a weaker offspring and their children struggled to survive. Women that have chosen men with good genes had a stronger offspring and their children survived disproportionally. Those children were carrying their picky mother’s genes and this is why those female genes were passed to us.

On the other hand, men never had adverse consequences of making a wrong choice. The more children they produced, the higher was their chance to pass their genes to future generations, as some of them would certainly survive. While men were determined to seek better genes too, they had to grab all chances to procreate coming their way to ensure their genes would be passed forward. The men that ONLY stuck with one woman (even a high quality woman) were losing genetically to the men that used all of their opportunities and had many more children that survived. Those children were carrying their father’s promiscuous genes, and this is why those male genes were passed to us.

By Nature men are made to seek as much sex as they can get, so they can spread their seed wider.

By Nature women are made to seek as many admirers as they can get, so they can make a better choice and get the best seed.

Men seek quantity - Women seek quality.

This is why men seek sex and women seek love.

Love is the proof that a woman needs to have some assurance that the man will stick around and help her with the upbringing of the offspring. For a woman, sex is the culmination of her emotional commitment to a man.

For a man, sex is a physical act that eases the testosterone pressure he experiences constantly. Only after this tension has gone, can a man feel love towards a woman. This is why it often happens that men disappear after they got what they wanted: it wasn’t love; it was the testosterone pressure. Sex for men is the reality check of their passion.

This is why having sex early in the relationship is hazardous for women: the man has not had the time to develop any romantic feelings for her. He needs time to develop those feelings, and the only way to do it is through keeping the sexual tension going for as long as practicable. Sex must be attainable, nearly possible - but not quite. When the sexual tension is at its peak, its release is mind-blowing - and once is never enough, which lays a proper foundation for a future relationship – and love.

Men fall in love through sex; women fall in sex through love.

All of this happens on the unconscious level - we do NOT realize what’s going on.

But the reason why you are here today and alive is because each and every of your ancestors, men and women, acted true to their instincts and managed to attract at least one sexual partner and produce an offspring.

So, there is no need to be bitter about men wanting sex and women wanting love. Those two are the necessary pieces of the puzzle called Survival Of The Species.

And you’ll be better off understanding what the other gender is going through and giving them exactly what they want: a mind-blowing sex or exhilarating love.

Go get ‘em! :-)