Sunday, March 27, 2011

Top 10 Steps for Writing the Best Online Personal Ad

Every single day, thousands of women join online dating sites. Unfortunately, thousands and thousands of other men are joining these sites as well... and no matter how great of a guy you are, it's nearly impossible not to "blend in."

The solution is to make your ad rise above the "clutter" and start getting the attention from women it deserves. Here's how

Number 10

Use The Space

Fact: If you don't tell a woman enough about yourself in your ad, she is not going to write you to find out more. Sure, you'll get e-mails from women who will ask you to give them just $19.95 to check them out through their new webcams. Not good.

These days, many services allow you put 10 or more photos in your ad, so use 
all of them and put your best face forward. Be sure to answer all of the questions that are provided, and fill out the other sections completely.

Number 9

Make Your Photos Great

The more interesting photos you have, the more likely a woman is to connect with one of them and feel compelled to write you or return an e-mail from you. Photos of you in exotic places or doing exciting things (like skydiving or rock climbing), as well as pictures of you with animals, can really separate you from the pack, and often double the amount of e-mails you receive.

I had a guy write in to tell me he had put up a picture of himself with a dolphin and had received more responses in one day than he had in the 
months before he put the picture up.

Think outside the box. Show her parts of your life that make you unique and you'll be one step ahead of everyone else.

Number 8

Put Your Best Face Forward

Here's another newsflash for you: A woman will decide whether to talk to you or not based on your worst photo. I don't care how compelling your ad is, or if you have a photo of yourself with a dolphin in a dolphin pool in your backyard with your chopper parked in the background, one bad picture can ruin it all. Make sure all of your photos are showing you at your best. If you are unsure about any of them, scrap them.

Number 7

Speak Your Mind

Most guys who join the personals are so afraid of scaring off a potential date that they leave every possible door open when it comes time to describe their ideal woman. But remember: We humans often want what we can't have.

This holds especially true for 
women. If your profile says that you are willing to date anything with a pulse, then the challenge is over. On the other hand, if your profile says you are looking for a blonde woman who is between 5'3" and 5'7", and a 5'8" brunette happens to come across your profile, what do you think she is going to do?

Well, first of all, she is going to look at your profile and see a
confident man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say it. (Hint: Women find these two qualities very attractive). Then, she just might write you a note that says something along the lines of "You're missing out!"

Number 6

Get her attention
The second thing that a woman looks at after your photo is your "headline." If your headline doesn't grab her attention, she won't even bother to click on your ad to read the rest. Because so many men use the same old "Looking For A Nice Girl..." type of headline for their ad, 
you can stand out by using something creative and compelling. Try to use something that sparks her curiosity, like "Confessions Of A San Diego Bachelor" or "Untamable... And Enjoyable".

An exciting headline can be the difference between a full mailbox and an empty one, so don't underestimate its importance.

Number 5

Clean it up
There is nothing a woman hates more than finding spelling mistakes in a man's profile. This will kill your chances instantly, so make sure you cut and paste everything you write into a spell-checking program to make sure it's written correctly.

Number 4

Use "social proof" 
Women are attracted to men they know other women are attracted to, and you can use this to give yourself an instant advantage in the personals. Post a picture or two of you with some attractive women as secondary photos in your profile. This subtly tells the women browsing your ad that you are "up to their standards" and "attractive," if you do it right.

Make sure the pictures are with different women so you don't appear to be stuck on an ex. A mixed group shot with some of your male and female friends is even better; you don't want to look like a show-off or a "wannabe player."

Oh, and that pic of you and your buddy with the beer girls isn't going to cut it. You're going to have to actually befriend some "real" women to do this right, but it will be well worth it!

Number 3

Tone it down
It's great that you have a nice car, but let a woman find out about it when you pick her up; don't post a photo of it in your profile. The same goes for talking up your career, income or activities. Sure, it's important to come across as a guy who has it together, but there is a fine line between bragging and telling. Be sure not to cross it.

Number 2

Get a second opinion
When you're finished filling out your profile and uploading your pics, have an attractive female friend (not your mom) go through it to critique your answers and pick out the best photos. Women like different things than you would think. So don't be surprised if your female friend tells you to scrap your best pic or get rid of something you thought was hilarious. Do it, as it's for your own good.

Number 1

Rise to the top
Did you know that most dating sites place the profiles that have been updated the most recently at the very top of the search results when someone is browsing through them? Of course, to be sure that the highest possible number of women read your ad, this is exactly where you want to be. Update your profile at least once a day, even if it's something small, like adding a favorite band or restaurant. You'll be amazed at how many more e-mails you get from women.

Become The Ultimate Online Casanova

Follow these online dating tips and learn how to get women interested enough for a date. At that point, you'll be able to get take things to a "physical" level smoothly and easily.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Proposal Rules And Etiquette

A handful of rituals, repeated time and again, have helped define the marriage proposal, but they amount to neither sacrament nor formula -- at best, they present a framework. The details are up to you, and once you’ve decided to pop the question, you’ll learn that posterity is peeking down on you, curious to see what makes your marriage proposal, if not timeless, at least memorable.

To that end, there are lots of ways to do this right and have the proposal remembered fondly, but there are many more ways to do it wrong. If you do it wrong, the proposal could become an extended family joke that you can never escape if she says “yes” -- or it might serve as a sad, cautionary tale to others if she says “no.” As with most things in life, there’s a big gray area between right and wrong. In this case, it’s the boneyard of forgettable marriage proposals, where the bland and uninspired methods go to die.

Your marriage proposal is one of those requisite stories that she’ll have to tell her friends and family. If you infuse the following protocol with your own imaginative details, you can give her a proposal story that she won’t mind telling for years to come because she’ll be proud of it. Plus, she’ll have a dynamite proposal story to make her friends jealous and her enemies disgusted.

Proposal Rules And Etiquette

Inform Her Parents Beforehand
The key word here is inform, not ask -- and you should be cautious that your language reflects as much. You can ask for their permission, but you’re not beholden to it if they don’t approve. In the end, if you give her father the opportunity to say no, you deny her the basic ability to make her own choices.

On the other hand, it’s good manners to involve your potential in-laws in the process, since for them it may suggest at least a token involvement in their daughter’s life. While this may seem old-fashioned, give tradition the benefit of the doubt.

Naturally, there may be some exceptional circumstances that would dictate a different proposal course. If she’s estranged from her parents (she hasn't spoken to them in a number of years or they are not a part of her life), informing them is not necessary. On that note, I would advise against any plans or schemes you might be harboring of using the proposal to bring them all together.

Choose The Ring Yourself
Involving your potential fiancée in the purchase of the engagement ring would be catastrophic to at least two of the key elements of a great proposal: surprise and romance.

If you have discussed marriage at some point prior to your proposal, then you should have ascertained what she wants in an engagement ring. If you haven’t, you’re left to your memory and your wits, which aren’t the most reliable things in the world. Whether marriage has been discussed or not, you should consider enlisting the aid of someone you trust -- one of her siblings, another relative or a close friend.

Carefully Consider Your Stage
This is basic: Gear the venue around her tastes and her personality. If you know she would savor an audience, make sure there is one -- the bigger the better. If that’s not her style, practice some discretion and remember that the bigger the stage, the higher the stakes. While uncertainty on your part shouldn’t overly influence your marriage-proposal venue choice, you’re more likely to get a pressured and later retracted “yes” when you use the JumboTron at a crowded stadium as a proposal gimmick.

Additionally, you want a venue that’s conducive to the moment. You don’t want to catch her at a stressful time of the day or at a time when she can’t enjoy it.
Give The Proposal A Formal Tone
In other words, don’t be casual. This is a formal marriage proposal and it requires a degree of formality on your part, beginning with how you ask. You’ll be nervous, but that won’t excuse throw offs like “wanna get married?” or “I ain’t getting on one knee.” Stick to “Will you marry me?”

Formality applies to the traditional gesture of the bended knee as well, although there’s a bit of flexibility here. If the occasion suits it -- meaning you’re in a place that physically allows for it -- bend down onto your left knee and say your piece. The gesture is old-fashioned (some might even call it cheesy), but it has a romantic flair and at the very least you should give it proper consideration. She’ll appreciate it and might even be expecting it.

Be Prepared For Any Answer
Meaning both “yes,” “no” and “I need to think about it.”

This may not seem fair, but this process has afforded you plenty of time to make the decision to propose. Consequently, she deserves equal time if she needs it. Every man wants a resounding “yes,” but not every man will get it -- no matter how well-prepared the proposal is.

Be Present For Her Reaction
Some of the more extreme or elaborate proposal ideas floating around the internet will ultimately result in your lady being asked by billboards, computers and blimps. No matter what the plan is, when the question is popped you need to be with her. Period.

Take A Unique Approach
Finally, tailor your approach to her and to your relationship. Give it a context. In other words, throwing on 100 pounds of armor and riding in on a white horse is only romantic if there’s some greater relevance to it. Don’t be unimaginative and stereotypical. Spending hundreds of dollars on an elaborate proposal with “the works” makes little sense if a well-written poem would better contextualize your relationship.

Decent Proposal
A proposal of marriage is a serious matter, but the proposal itself doesn’t need to be so serious -- it can be fun, romantic, wild, or all three. Even if your proposal features little beyond a ring and a question, you can still give her a story to tell and earn a ”yes.” And you needn't fear simplicity. In fact, the more elaborate the proposal, the more things can go wrong, which may lead to a detour from your fundamental goal: asking the woman you love for her hand in marriage and to spend the rest of her life with you.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Men- How To Get Over A Break Up

Baby, stay with me tonight, please!
I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore.

Sounds familiar? So what's next?

You're sweating, shaking, and feeling as if the world will soon come to an end. Everything you believed in- love, respect, loyalty- has all vanished at lightning speed. You told yourself that if you treated her right, she'd be with you forever.

Wrong! Nothing lasts forever. This is a lesson we all learn the hard way. She'll hurt you, and you'll probably hurt someone else. It's a vicious cycle that one must learn about, in order to survive the crazy game of "love".

Let's face it, we have all been through the dreaded breakup . If you haven't, believe me, you soon will. So here is an eight-stage timeline you may experience that can help you recuperate after a breakup.

eight-stage timeline

Stage 1- Time heals everything: It's normal to have low self-esteem when someone you love leaves you. But remember, you're still the same person that she once fell in love with.

The only difference is that you are no longer together. Believe me, you'll find someone else in time. As for your broken heart, the old saying time heals everything cannot be more true.

Stage 2- You are vulnerable: Anyone can take advantage of you when you are feeling vulnerable. You must therefore be extra careful not to look to quick fixes, such as dating old flings.

Stage 3- Feelings of denial: At this stage, you will probably call your ex many times to question whether the relationship is truly over, or whether there is still a chance that your relationship can be salvaged.

Stage 4- Feelings of bitterness: Remember, the relationship is over, so don't express feelings of sadness and bitterness to your ex . If you do, you'll be letting her know that you are unable to handle her decision, which makes you look immature. Instead, channel those feelings into positive energy by improving the skills at the activities you love.

Stage 5- Take time off: A lot of men try to rebuild their new broken fragile ego, by dating again too soon after a breakup. Stop! You'll only end up damaging yourself even more, as well as the person you are dating. If you date someone just to fill a gap, that's the way you'll end up treating that person.

Stay away from women who'll prey on your fragile emotional state, and take advantage of your vulnerability. This will only give you a false sense of trust. Take time off and get involved in things you never had the time to do before.

Stage 6- Socialize: Meet a lot of new people. Use this time to improve relations with old friends, network, and make new friends. A well-balanced life will lessen the impact of a breakup, because you will still have the other aspects of your life intact, and improved.

Stage 7- Fall in love: Eventually, as time passes, you will fall in love again. Make sure to let yourself fall in love, and take the time to really let your partner in your life. There is nothing better than a new flame to make you forget an old one (once you have had the time to heal, of course).

Stage 8- Don't set yourself up: Don't get carried away with this new found flame, remember nothing lasts forever. Don't make this person the sole focus of your life, because if it doesn't workout, you'll find yourself right back at Stage 1.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Can Long Distant Relationships Last?

The modern world is an expensive place, where most households require two incomes to purchase even the most modest of dwellings. Couple this fact with the progress women have made in the workplace since Eisenhower was president and you’ve got a perfect cocktail for a potentially sour brew known as long-distance relationships, which are brought on by career moves that often mean a change of address.

Careers can pull anyone across the country provided the opportunity is grand enough. You’ll need to look inside yourself and be sure that you’re ready to deal with this level of commitment. If you’ve been tempted to stray while she was still living in town, chances are you’re not ready. However, if you can’t see yourself with anyone but her, there are a host of factors to consider when embarking upon long-distance relationships.

Agree On An End
Before you decide to jump headfirst into long-distance relationships, you should first agree on an end goal with your partner -- a specific time, be it six months or a year, when the separation is going to end. You can reunite, she can move home, you can follow or you can call it quits. There has to be an agreed upon goal to look forward to when you first embark upon long-distance relationships. Otherwise, you may end up stringing along the status quo indefinitely, which breeds a particularly robust strain of frustration.

Be realistic in your assessment of this relationship timetable. Make sure to leave enough time to accomplish the goals that forced the separation in the first place. Trying to rush through an experience, even for a relationship, is a good way to build up unhealthy levels of stress.

Schedule Communication
The quality and quantity of communication with your woman will need to increase substantially when you embark on long-distance relationships. Be prepared for this increase in verbal Olympics. Make sure your phone bill is ready as well by switching to a new cell phone plan with unlimited long distance or make sure your landline carrier is providing the best rates. You will need to be on the same page with your girl as far as frequency goes; will you speak three times a week or once a day? If you’re not on the same page, one party will feel slighted and an insurmountable rift will begin to develop between the two of you that will make the physical distance seem minuscule.

During long-distance relationships you'll want to go ahead and physically schedule communication time on your calendar. Your relationship is certainly as important as any other meeting you may have written down. If you have to miss a “date,” be sure to let her know just as you would any business contact. Bridges are especially easy to burn from so far away. Try closing the gap with video chat, such as or

Schedule Visits
Visits act like mini-ends. A weekend together is vitally important at least once every six weeks. For all the Jetson-like qualities of video chat, there is no plug-in to replicate touch or smell -- at least not yet. And since smell is the strongest sense tied to memory, you’ll want to keep up physical relations during long-distance relationships. A trip to visit your significant other every once in a while shows her that you still care, and that she’s still very important to you no matter how far away she is.

Don’t just go and visit each other though. Instead, try to create something uniquely you. Taking mutual vacations away from your respective lives creates newness in your relationship and keeps it progressing. It’s important that your relationship continues to grow, not just maintains, despite the distance.

Raise Your Trust Level
When living a great deal of your lives away from each other in a long distance relationship it’s natural that you develop some of your once-laudable independent tendencies. Proceed with caution, however, since she’s going to be developing the same independent instincts. Stories will begin to revolve around people you’ve never heard of and she’ll begin to take on certain characteristics you won’t recognize. Your role will change slightly as well. In a proximal relationship of this caliber, most of your free time is spent with each other.

If you were in charge of planning dates and filling free time, someone else is going to be filling that role. It’s not an attack against you, so try not to show too much jealousy. Let her know you still care and love your role in her life, but you can’t be an anchor from hundreds of miles away.

Schedule Your Loving
When it comes to long-distance relationships the name of the game is prioritizing what’s important to the both of you. If it’s family or a relationship that you find occupying the top spot, great, but you’ll have to sacrifice your career a little bit. If you are both career-oriented people and can put your relationship on the back burner for a while, then a long-distance relationship may be for you. It’s all about weighing the ups and downs associated with what you want from your life.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Why Men Fall For The Bad Girl

  • Better Man in brief ...
  • Men grow up insecure, believing they need to play the hero in order to get the girl.
  • Bad Girls are on the rise, and they protect themselves by hurting the men who go after them.
  • Why Bad Girls are Bad and why men are attracted to them have unconscious roots in childhood.
"The Sex Siren wants to be idolized for her sexual powers and uses sex as a weapon to turn men into lapdogs."
“Just as little girls are forewarned that they’ll need to kiss a lot of frogs before they find their prince, society forewarns little boys that they’ll need to slay a lot of dragons before they’ll win the heart of their true princess. These men grow up believing they are not entitled to a princess unless they accomplish some death-defying feat equivalent to slaying a dragon, such as making a ton of money, driving a fancy car, living in a mansion, displaying trophies attesting to their prowess in some sport or being able to flash business cards with an impressive title after their name.”

Depending on which of the Dozen Dangerous Damsels she is, that “something” can include money, drugs, sex, protection, an affair, a man to hang in there without a commitment, a husband, someone else’s husband, a lifeline, a toy boy, a yes-man, or revenge. What makes each type of Bad Girl tick and why men are attracted to her have unconscious roots in childhood. Here are 10 examples of these damsels.

The Gold-digger (like Anna Nicole Smith and Oksana Grigorieva) wants a sugar daddy to pamper her because she feels entitled to take from a man what her father couldn’t or wouldn’t give her.

The Addict (like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Brooke Mueller) not only wants her substance of choice, but also an enabler to help her fill the inner void left over from lack of nurturance as a child.

The Sex Siren wants to be idolized for her sexual powers and uses sex as a weapon to turn men into lapdogs. Marilyn Monroe was sexually abused as a little girl and later used her sensuality as a survival strategy to hide the pain.

By understanding what makes each of these women tick, a man can crack the Bad Girl code..."

The Sexual Withholder wants to avoid having sex or to have sex only under conditions that she imposes because growing up, her femininity was wounded. As a preteen, Brooke Shields played a nude prostitute in reel life, which later caused conflict in real life about her sexuality.

The Husband Hunter & Trapper (like Jessica Simpson and Nadya Suleman) wants the security of being taken care of and the status of being a “married lady.” Since she doesn’t feel love for herself, she resorts to setting traps to catch a husband.

The Husband Stealer (like Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts and Rielle Hunter) wants to prove that her beauty and charm are irresistible, even after a man has pledged his heart to another.

The Ultimate Damsel in Distress (like Blanche du Bois in Streetcar Named Desire and Susan Mayer in Desperate Housewives) wants to be rescued from fire-breathing dragons, which today means anything from loneliness to a low-credit score.

The Cougar (like Demi Moore, Susan Sarandon and Linda Bollea) wants a boy toy to play with, to help her turn back the clock so that she still feels desired and desirable and still has power over men.

The Ball-buster (like Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin) wants a man to prove he loves her by perpetually scrambling to meet her insatiable demands and surrendering to her so she can feel as though she has control over her world.

The Bad Girl Scorned (like Alex Forrest/Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction and Monica Lewinsky) wants her man to cancel his plans to break up with her. Failing this, she wants to destroy his life by stalking him or extracting revenge.

To uncover the secrets Bad Girls use to make otherwise smart and successful men fall head over heels for them. Their stories forewarn male readers and help them heal their wounds by seeing themselves in these similar predicaments. By understanding what makes each of these women tick, a man can crack the Bad Girl code and discover why he gets swept up in the heartbreaking drama, leaving good girls on the shelf who are ready to love him for who he truly is -- not how many dragons he has slain. Happy hunting!

Monday, March 21, 2011

First Date Sex, Yes or No?

Better Man in brief ...
Waiting to have sex creates anticipation -- imagine how good it will be.
Do you think she's a slut? Good. Then don't treat her like one with first-date sex.
Passing on the first date gives you time to do your homework (she might be crazy).
"It’s quite an anticlimax to get to know each other after you’ve already had sex."

She’s hot, you’re eager and there’s so much sexual tension, you are one drink away from suggesting you go back to your place. Stop. It actually could be better if you don’t see each other naked on the first date. No, really. Not only will she be flattered that you don’t see her as nothing but a piece of meat, but keeping your pants on could be good for you too. So if you’re interested in pursuing a relationship with her, it’s probably in your best interest to take that cold shower.

Here are some reasons first-date sex is best left undone.

Waiting Creates Anticipation
In our quick-fix society, anticipation has been shoved away in favor of immediate pleasure. But waiting a little longer before having sex in a romantic relationship is important because it gives you something to look forward to. If you enjoy the main prize of sex on a first date, you’re starting the process back to front. It’s quite an anticlimax to get to know each other after you’ve already had sex.

Waiting Creates Challenge
If you don’t let yourself get hot and heavy right away, you can create challenge. This means letting her do some work in chasing you, as well as moving slowly and then holding back a bit so that her interest is raised. It doesn’t take a genius to see how this strategy could be ruined by having sex too quickly. If you indulge in first-date sex, you’re showing her you’re very interested right off the bat, which makes it more difficult to be a bit distant afterward if you are keen on pursuing a real relationship. It could also make her think a relationship with you is a done deal (you know how some women still view sex as synonymous with coupledom).

Waiting Shows You Don’t Think She’s A Slut
If you’re quick to show her the way to your bedroom, she might think you view her as nothing but a cheap date. She’ll think you see her as someone who does this with all the men she meets. And chances are, she’ll be right. So hold off on sex for now. Although she’s attracted to you, ultimately she wants to know you respect her and are interested to know more about her than how she looks naked.

Waiting Keeps You Interested
Not only does anticipation go AWOL after you have sex on the first date, but chances are your interest will take a dive too. You might not even feel the need to get to know her once you’ve had sex, and so gone is the interest in trying to see if you’d work as a couple. If you press pause on sex for a while, you give yourself a chance to get to know her when lust is not clouding your vision. Then sex becomes the reward for keeping that interest burning.

It’s important to know her vibe before you take her to the next level, in order to avoid bad sex complications."

Waiting Shows You’re A Gentleman
Chivalry in the form of throwing your jacket over puddles to prevent your lady from getting her shoes wet may have left the dating scene long ago, but avoiding first-date sex is right up there with the greats. Suggesting sex after knowing her a few hours makes her feel you’re only after one thing, you don’t respect her or you’re the Don Juan of the town. Talk about a turnoff if she’s keen on a relationship that lasts longer than one night.

Waiting Gives You Time To Evaluate Her
Since you’ve just met her, you don’t really know her other than some things about her life, interests and job. If you add carnal knowledge to the list too quickly, you miss out on other crucial info you should be spending sex time trying to discover. For instance, is she a crazy chick who is going to assume that you’re a full-fledged couple after you’ve had sex? Will she turn into a human version of Velcro the morning after? It’s important to know her vibe before you take her to the next level, in order to avoid bad sex complications.

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait
Sex is important in a relationship; there’s no doubt about it. But making a slow transition to sex will result in an even more mind-blowing experience when the full act does happen. By then you’ll know if you’re in sync with each other, you can suss out the chemistry, and sex can become something that cements your relationship even more. So if she’s a woman you’d like to call your girlfriend in the near future, wait sex out a little longer, buddy. It’ll pay off.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Women and Foreplay

Despite the ongoing female mantra of “we need more foreplay,” men still think they can get away with a quick grope and a slip of the tongue before sex. In some circumstances, you can get away with even less than this (who doesn’t like a quickie now and then?), but most of the time women need more. Sex is different for men and women, and the sooner men realize this, the better off we will all be.

She doesn’t need an hour, she probably doesn’t even need half an hour, but foreplay is important for a woman’s healthy and happy sex life -- in other words, your sex life. You may feel like you end up putting all the work in to getting her “ready” -- boooring -- but if you want to have more and better sex, you need to make it worth her while, and enjoy the process. The more turned on she is, the more likely she will be to orgasm, therefore the happier she will ultimately be and the more sex she will want in the future. You may be the world’s biggest jackass but if you can really turn her on, she will fantasize about sex with you until she is 70.

No Ultimate Foreplay
There is no such thing as the "ultimate foreplay." There isn’t any one thing that should or shouldn’t be done all the time -- variation is key, though it is important to understand what she likes in particular. After a while, your foreplay rhythm will become second nature, but don’t get complacent. You need to learn from your mistakes and really turn her on, not just give her time to mentally prepare for your grand entrance.

Kissing And Foreplay
Kissing may be the single biggest turn-on for women, and going slow is even better. If you can kiss every inch of your partner’s body, by the time you are done she will likely be pretty excited about the whole thing. By taking the time to kiss her, you are saying “I love every bit of you” -- not just her vagina or breasts, which can get almost desensitized if you’re only focusing on that part of her. Kiss her like you mean it, and not just so you can get your rocks off. She is not just a means to an end, so enjoy her body and enjoy the process of figuring out what she likes -- every woman likes something. Find out what it is.

Foreplay Moves That She Hates
Repetitious movements; being too aggressive or rough; lacking imagination; hurting her and missing her clitoris are all errors men make on a regular basis. Women and men touch each other differently -- if you always want to have rough, aggressive sex, perhaps you should have sex with another man. Unless she explicitly wants someone with no imagination and no foreplay skills, these mistakes may cost you dearly.
It’s not to say that women don’t sometimes like it rough, but that’s something you learn along the way -- your default position should be more gentle. Be open to learning; if you act like you know it all and you clearly don’t, she may feel bad about bursting your bubble and therefore will be less likely to offer advice.

Think You’ve Done It All?
There are many delicious and effective ways to tease your woman. Teasing is underrated and underperformed. Talking dirty, massages, looking good for her, and interrupting sex are all ways you can get her hot for it then let her steam with no action. Turning her on then stopping will make her want to curse you to hell and back, but it will keep her thinking about you until she gets what she wants.

Foreplay First: Your Golden Rule
Foreplay shouldn’t feel like hard work -- think of it as part of sex, rather than only a prelude to intercourse. Foreplay is sex. Get into it and see the dizzying heights your sexual relationship can reach

Saturday, March 12, 2011

She Doesn't Want Sex

What You Need To Know

Stop complaining; talk to her about why things have changed.
Women "lose" their libido when they disconnect emotionally.
Replicate your behavior from the first six months of the relationship to revive your sex life.
"When a woman takes away the sex, it's because you're no longer connecting emotionally to her..."
There's a song that goes, “Where has her libido gone?” Now I want you to sing it. Do you guys remember the song “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?”
Where has her libido gone? She was amazing for the first six months of the relationship. She couldn't get enough of you. She attacked you. She'd go crazy all over -- all over you. She'd blow you. She'd screw you in weird places. She'd want sex with you in the middle of the afternoon. Then, all of a sudden, it became a relationship. And all this stuff started happening. And it seemed like her libido dried up.

Missing: Sex Life
So what do you do? Well, you're probably like any other man: You start complaining, because we like to complain about things that we've lost. You start dropping those little hints, like, “Hey, babe, how come you never, you know, you never attack me anymore?” Or, “Hey, babe, I really miss the way you used to touch me.” Or, “Hey, babe, I really am wondering why you aren't doing these things anymore? Are we just getting used to each other?”

We'll start the complaining cycle. And the problem is, the complaining cycle never works. If you ask your friends, you'll find most of them are in exactly the same situation (meaning, no sex life). They're either in relationships that don't have enough sex, or they're not in a relationship and they're not getting any sex. So the ones who are not getting any sex will tell you not to worry about it -- at least you get it once in a while.

But I don't believe the libido ever needs to go away.

The amazing thing about intimacy and about having the same sexual partner is that the two of you can get comfortable with each other and learn everything about each other. Learn how to get each other off, learn how to please each other, learn what the other one likes. Know what the other one doesn't like. And that's exciting.

It's not that she's not attracted to you. It's not that her sex drive is gone. It's that you're not connecting with her emotionally anymore. When sex is taken away from him, a man will complain. Some men get pouty. Some men just ignore their partner. And most of them will throw the complaints out there. It’s the kind of passive-aggressive behavior that I described above.

Emotional Connection

When a woman takes away the sex, it's because you're no longer connecting emotionally to her and you're not treating her the same way you used to. Maybe you romanced her in the first six months and you're no longer doing the little things that made her want to jump your bones every day. Maybe you're not listening to her when she comes home or you're not showing interest in things in her life. Maybe you're not going out to the restaurant that she likes. Maybe you've become a football-aholic and you're sitting on the couch every Sunday.

You may need to replicate all the wonderful things you did for her in the first six months of the relationship."

Repeat Behavior
What you have to do is look back at your behavior in the first six months, when she was jumping your bones, and start replicating that behavior again. You won't need to ask for sex, and you won't need to talk about sex. Men are driven by their groins. Women are driven by their emotions, by their hearts or their minds and their energy. (And then it goes to their groins.)

So if you're humming the song “Where Has Her Libido Gone?” you need to look inside and realize you brought out that libido in the first place. And you're the one who put that libido in check. You may need to replicate all the wonderful things you did for her in the first six months of the relationship. And you'll find that not only will the sex come back, but a greater level of intimacy and trust will exist between the two of you -- and the sex will be even better, stronger and more powerful.

Try it. It's worked for me in a lot of my relationships. I used to do the same things you're doing: I'd hum the song and I'd complain. But in my relationship now, I've stopped complaining and started doing the things that she really loves, the central things that made her happy in the first six months. And she's a terror in bed all over again.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Kissing 101

Chances are good that you are not using one of the best tools in your sexual arsenal to its full potential. This secret weapon is your mouth. We’re not just talking about oral sex here, although you should be giving her oral pleasure on a regular basis if you want to be a good lover, and we’re going to go beyond kissing on the mouth in this article, which you should have mastered by now if you want to kiss her anywhere else.

Your mouth can be applied to various other parts of her body by kissing, licking, nibbling, biting, and sucking. Anywhere you touch her with your hands will most likely feel even better when stimulated by a warm, wet mouth. When it comes to kissing women, some of their favorite places are obvious, while others are frequently overlooked.

The ears are an often-neglected area of the body that can be the site of intense pleasure for her and using your mouth is the best way to stimulate them. Gentle nibbling on the earlobe is a reliable way to send shivers down her spine, but you should also try lightly brushing your lips against her ear, which will rouse the soft, fine hairs there creating waves of tingly pleasure.

Back Of The Neck
One of the easiest and most dependable ways to get her in the mood is to place your mouth on the back of her neck. This works especially well if you take her by surprise. When she’s at the sink doing dishes or working on the computer, approach her quietly from behind, sweep her hair off the back of her neck and kiss her there. She will soon forget her task and want more.

There are few things more personal than kissing a woman on the face. Your warm, fuzzy feelings for her can be expressed by placing sweet, light kisses on her cheeks, forehead, jaw line, even her nose and closed eyelids. But don’t lick her face. Just don’t. It’s icky, not sexy. No biting either. Her face should be treated with tenderness and reverence.

While her clothes are still on, one of the most intimate places you can lay some kisses is along her collarbone. A woman’s exposed collarbone is sexy and your mouth on it makes her think of your mouth on more private parts of her body. So start off with kisses there before you move on to places you can’t reach while she’s fully clothed.

Her hips are more sensitive than you would guess. It could be because they are so close to the center of her physical pleasure. Whatever the reason, kissing, licking and nibbling at her hips will send currents of delight down to her toes and up to the top of her head. Don’t neglect this place she wants your mouth to be.

Putting your mouth on her breasts can be intensely sexy, but doing it wrong can turn her right off. Kissing, licking and sucking are all recommended and even some gentle biting can be acceptable as long as you take it easy. Her breasts are delicate, so don’t forget that you have to treat them appropriately. Unless she’s into hardcore S&M, hard sucking and biting are no-nos. Her breasts should not have bruises when you are done with them. Also, remember that her nipples are not the only parts that need some attention. Use your mouth all over her breasts for maximum effect.

No-Go Areas
No matter where your mouth ends up, it’s probably going to make her feel good. However, there are a couple body parts you should always get permission to apply your mouth to before exploring, including her feet and her bum. Some girls simply aren’t into having your mouth in these sensitive areas, so ask her before you go there. On the other hand, some girls would enthusiastically welcome some toe sucking or some tongue action down below. Find out where she stands and use your mouth accordingly.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Dear John-How to Tell if Your Relationship is Over

A woman's heart can, at times, be the most difficult thing in the world to capture. Once you have it though, chances are it's yours forever, unless of course you drive her to madness. Unfortunately, most men screw up somewhere down the line in relationships.

When men are making fatal relationship errors, most women give off subtle signs, remember all of their partners' screw-ups, and usually don't love their partners anymore. There are always telltale signs. Some women are blunt and tell their men abruptly that they hate their guts and no longer want them. But most women are clever and will only offer hints that their love is long, long gone.

Dear John

This example will demonstrate my theory. Recently, I went to a male friend's birthday party. His girlfriend gave him a gift and a card on which she wrote, You've played a key role in my life . I had previously read other letters she had written and they all said, You're the most precious thing in my life or You're my reason for living .

This time she wrote key role , as if her boyfriend had been demoted from love of my life and is now a team player in his girlfriend's life. Who played the other key roles ? Ex-boyfriends? Her boss? Her friends? A simple phrase like that served more as a code red to the boyfriend than a love letter.

I didn't tell my friend what I thought (I didn't want to ruin his birthday party), but two weeks later he called me crying, telling me his girlfriend doesn't love him anymore. Surprise, surprise.

She doesn't have to say key role in a letter for you to realize that things are going downhill in a relationship. There are generally three very obvious signs that every man should recognize:

1) She stops calling
Most women love attention and love it when men compliment them, look at them, ask them out. Women also love calling their boyfriends or husbands (and love receiving phone calls) because it gives them a chance to receive attention. Most couples I know are in daily contact with each other, no matter where they are in the world. A lot of married couples call each other at work, either to check up on each other or out of boredom.

Suddenly one day, she stops calling . Very subtly you realize that the phone doesn't ring quite as often, until one day it almost never does. This is a big sign . If a woman stops calling you, it is because she feels she shouldn't make the time or effort to call. When a woman is in love, she will bend over backwards for her man. When she isn'tsee ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

2) She stops caring and stops acting jealous
After a woman stops calling you, more of her behavior starts to change. Most women are at least a tad jealous by nature. Most women deny it, but it's true. Women don't want to share their men with anyone, so they do what's necessary to keep them happy (this includes: baking a cake, going shopping with his mom, ironing his shirts, and oral sex).

So when your girlfriend or wife suddenly stops acting jealous or no longer does things for you, watch out. When she stops asking about your day or getting mad at you for looking at other women, start counting the days. She's not in love with you anymore.

3) Do you want to go to the movies? 
The third sign that things are going badly is actually pretty simple. If you go to the movies every time you go out with your partner, this is another sign . Being at a movie theater is a great excuse to spend time together without actually having to say a word to one another.

If a woman says, why don't we just go see a movie? every time you want to go out, she is really saying I don't want to spend time with you, especially in public because I think you are an idiot .

Not exactly in those words of course, but you get the point.