Every single day, thousands of women join online dating sites. Unfortunately, thousands and thousands of other men are joining these sites as well... and no matter how great of a guy you are, it's nearly impossible not to "blend in."
The solution is to make your ad rise above the "clutter" and start getting the attention from women it deserves. Here's how
Use The Space
Fact: If you don't tell a woman enough about yourself in your ad, she is not going to write you to find out more. Sure, you'll get e-mails from women who will ask you to give them just $19.95 to check them out through their new webcams. Not good.
These days, many services allow you put 10 or more photos in your ad, so use all of them and put your best face forward. Be sure to answer all of the questions that are provided, and fill out the other sections completely.
Make Your Photos Great
The more interesting photos you have, the more likely a woman is to connect with one of them and feel compelled to write you or return an e-mail from you. Photos of you in exotic places or doing exciting things (like skydiving or rock climbing), as well as pictures of you with animals, can really separate you from the pack, and often double the amount of e-mails you receive.
I had a guy write in to tell me he had put up a picture of himself with a dolphin and had received more responses in one day than he had in the months before he put the picture up.
Think outside the box. Show her parts of your life that make you unique and you'll be one step ahead of everyone else.
Put Your Best Face Forward
Here's another newsflash for you: A woman will decide whether to talk to you or not based on your worst photo. I don't care how compelling your ad is, or if you have a photo of yourself with a dolphin in a dolphin pool in your backyard with your chopper parked in the background, one bad picture can ruin it all. Make sure all of your photos are showing you at your best. If you are unsure about any of them, scrap them.
Speak Your Mind
Most guys who join the personals are so afraid of scaring off a potential date that they leave every possible door open when it comes time to describe their ideal woman. But remember: We humans often want what we can't have.
This holds especially true for women. If your profile says that you are willing to date anything with a pulse, then the challenge is over. On the other hand, if your profile says you are looking for a blonde woman who is between 5'3" and 5'7", and a 5'8" brunette happens to come across your profile, what do you think she is going to do?
Well, first of all, she is going to look at your profile and see aconfident man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say it. (Hint: Women find these two qualities very attractive). Then, she just might write you a note that says something along the lines of "You're missing out!"
Number 6Get her attention
The second thing that a woman looks at after your photo is your "headline." If your headline doesn't grab her attention, she won't even bother to click on your ad to read the rest. Because so many men use the same old "Looking For A Nice Girl..." type of headline for their ad, you can stand out by using something creative and compelling. Try to use something that sparks her curiosity, like "Confessions Of A San Diego Bachelor" or "Untamable... And Enjoyable".
An exciting headline can be the difference between a full mailbox and an empty one, so don't underestimate its importance.
Number 5Clean it up
There is nothing a woman hates more than finding spelling mistakes in a man's profile. This will kill your chances instantly, so make sure you cut and paste everything you write into a spell-checking program to make sure it's written correctly.
Number 4Use "social proof"
Women are attracted to men they know other women are attracted to, and you can use this to give yourself an instant advantage in the personals. Post a picture or two of you with some attractive women as secondary photos in your profile. This subtly tells the women browsing your ad that you are "up to their standards" and "attractive," if you do it right.
Make sure the pictures are with different women so you don't appear to be stuck on an ex. A mixed group shot with some of your male and female friends is even better; you don't want to look like a show-off or a "wannabe player."
Oh, and that pic of you and your buddy with the beer girls isn't going to cut it. You're going to have to actually befriend some "real" women to do this right, but it will be well worth it!
Number 3Tone it down
It's great that you have a nice car, but let a woman find out about it when you pick her up; don't post a photo of it in your profile. The same goes for talking up your career, income or activities. Sure, it's important to come across as a guy who has it together, but there is a fine line between bragging and telling. Be sure not to cross it.
Number 2Get a second opinion
When you're finished filling out your profile and uploading your pics, have an attractive female friend (not your mom) go through it to critique your answers and pick out the best photos. Women like different things than you would think. So don't be surprised if your female friend tells you to scrap your best pic or get rid of something you thought was hilarious. Do it, as it's for your own good.
Number 1Rise to the top
Did you know that most dating sites place the profiles that have been updated the most recently at the very top of the search results when someone is browsing through them? Of course, to be sure that the highest possible number of women read your ad, this is exactly where you want to be. Update your profile at least once a day, even if it's something small, like adding a favorite band or restaurant. You'll be amazed at how many more e-mails you get from women.