Sunday, February 20, 2011

Learn When to Give Your Man an Ultimatum

You're tired of waiting. You've been in love with a man for some time and you thought by now you'd be married to him. At the very least you imagined you'd be sporting a beautiful diamond engagement ring on your finger. It doesn't look as though that will ever happen. You've hinted in some subtle and not so subtle ways but still no dropping to one knee and no "will you marry me" in sight. It's frustrating, isn't it? You're now wondering when is it time to give your man an ultimatum to marry you or hit the road. It may feel like that time is now but it's something you better seriously consider before you put it out there. Pushing a man you love in this way can mean the end of not only the future of your relationship but the present too.
If you're thinking about giving your man an ultimatum to marry you it's important to consider how it will make him feel. Men who are slow to commit generally have some very specific reasons for being that way. Those reasons range from being worried about the financial obligations that come with a wedding and marriage to being scared because they are a product of divorce. If you push your man by saying that it's either marriage or no relationship at all he may feel cornered and react by pulling back and ending things. If you don't want to risk that happening, it's important for you not to present your desire to be his wife in this way.
Talk to him about why he has reservations. If you've already tried this and he's told you that he's just not ready or he's not comfortable talking about it, try again. It's important that you explain to him that marriage is something you deeply desire. If you believe you know what is causing him to not want to commit, address that with him. Be understanding and patient as the two of you discuss this. If you get overly emotional or start pushing him in any way, everything may come to a standstill and marrying you will be the last thing on his mind.
If he refuses to talk about it or avoids the subject deliberately, it may be time for you to take some action. You shouldn't do anything drastic and there's still no reason to present him with an ultimatum to marry you or hit the road. Instead, focus less on him and what you want from the relationship and more on yourself. If you spend less time chasing after him to commit and more time exploring your life and all it can offer you, he'll notice. The key is to follow your own dreams and not to spend as much time with him as you have been. He's refusing to give you a commitment so stop acting as though you two are already married. This slight change in your attitude can make all the difference in the world to your relationship.

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